Ben There, Done That

I was recently reminded of my future adventure in to reality television. Thanks to my conversation with Patrick I now have a sense of purpose in my life. For those of you that don’t know, I am in a long, on-going process of writing, producing, and starring in my own reality television show. I am a sucker for Flavor of Love, Daisy of Love, I Love NY, and any other trashy reality television show about some washed-up celebrity trying to find true love. For those that know me, I have a rollercoaster type history with relationships. I have had numerous girlfriends in the past, but simply haven’t found “the one”! Myself, and others came up with the idea to find my true love on a reality television show called:

BEN THERE; DONE THAT

The show follows me (Ben) and another Ben (Ben Gorsky) through the trials and trails of finding the perfect girl. Obviously, outrageous and irrelevant competition would take place throughout the series, with winners advancing on to the latter stages of the contest. If you’ve ever watched one of these shows you know what type of activities would take place to find a winner. Here is the kicker; on most of these shows, the contestants are usually dumb bimbos or jocks that have nothing intelligent to say. This makes the show great, because as proven through the movie Dumb and Dumber, stupid people are funny. But what would be even more hilarious than a bunch of dense valley girls performing completely brainless activities?

Intellectual girls doing completely brainless activities…I mean, how awesome would it be to see a Harvard Law graduate mud wrestling with an Investment banker/Oxford Alumni, with the loser going home! Be honest. It would be awesome. Instead of fights involving white trash slang, fis-ta-kas, and pulling of hair, there would be witty intellectual battles consisting of big words I don’t understand, fencing, and pulling of the hair…

Now all my female readers are probably gasping in awe: “Ben, how can you be such a male chauvinist?” Well my answer is simple (this is where I relate this blog to Ecuador). Ecuador is a male chauvinistic country. Men treat the women like possessions and objects more often than they treat them like people. Women are whistled at, harassed, and sometimes even groped on the streets by complete strangers. Sometimes it can be really pathetic, but I’ve learned to accept these despicable actions with a hint of disgust. When I hang out with girls I obviously put myself in the way of comments or actions. Surprisingly, most of the men seem threatened by me. It can probably be attributed to the fact that I’m considered a taller individual in this culture; either that or my huge build, fueled by my diet of rice (sarcasm for those that don’t get it). All in all, I don’t think I’ll ever adjust to the local men’s actions here. Most of them, to be completely honest, are douche-bags. I have very few male students and for the most part they are very kind and respectful individuals. But every other male stranger I encounter on the streets are not even close to my awesome students.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in the shoes of American girls down here, but I do my best to ensure they’re not harassed by old, creepy, and/or drunk Ecuadorians. Because of my chivalrous personality I believe it’s time for me to get a little wicked.

I deserve my own reality television show: Ben there, done that.
I’m gonna be famous.